


Glass Hearts

by BabylonSabby



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, F/F, Game Over, No Sex, One Shot, Psychological, upd8 response
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 22:01:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6347323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabylonSabby/pseuds/BabylonSabby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the sequences of Game Over, Rose's last moments are filled to the brim with vulnerability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glass Hearts

You’re lying in a pool of your own blood. You’ve been ran through. Gutted. It’s a miracle you’re still alive. 

You know your time is limited.

You miss your mom.

You wish you could go back in time and tell her you loved her. You acted like such a shit when you were little. And in reality she loved you. She was trying to help you. When for some reason, your imagination wouldn’t let you believe that. You were a prisoner in your own home. You had to escape.

But that’s not the worst of it.

It’s not Mom that makes you feel safe and wanted anymore.

It’s Kanaya.

There has been many a night when she would curl up with you on your bed in your makeshift ‘hive’ on the meteor. 

You liked how warm she was. How soft her skin was when it brushed up against yours.

You liked it when she scratched your head. When she played with your hair. How she held you until you drifted off to sleep.

You liked the moments of intense intimacy when she fed from your neck. How at some times, they would be brief and breathless. And how in others she would prolong them. Just because she knew for you it was erotic as hell.

It was a combination of all of these soft and intimate moments that made you gradually and over time lose yourself. You didn’t own yourself anymore. She did. Your life was in her hands. It was hers to do with as she pleased. You trusted her completely and wholeheartedly.

And now where was she?

Where was she?

Never had you felt so alone than when you first noticed that pile of ashes on the ground.

You thought it was bad enough watching her burn to dust. But now the reality is finally hitting you. The gravity of what’s happened.

Now you’re by yourself. Your mind still ticking in a body that by some miracle is still alive, even if only for the moment.

You’re not hearing her voice anymore. Part of you is still so very, very used to her being alive. Part of you is thinking the pile of dust is only a hallucination…and that she’ll come right up to you, ask if you’re okay, and then embrace you again like she did at home.

Your new home, that is.

The home you made on that meteor.

The home you made with her.

You feel safe there.

You want to go back.

But now you can’t even move, you can only wait.

And waiting comes at a price the longer you stare at that pile. The longer you go without Kanaya magically coming back to life.

The reality sinks in more and more. She’s not here. You’re alone. 

You should have told her.

You should have told her.

You should have told her you loved her.

Why didn’t you tell her?

What about it made it so hard to let yourself go?

What about those words were so hard to say?

If only you could say it to everyone you loved.

But if you had the chance, you’d say it to her. And only her, if needed. Kanaya came first and foremost. She who you had given yourself to.

You shakily take in a breath.

And as that breath is released, whimpers come out. Cries.

Tears start to trickle down the sides of your face, dampening your hair.

You want your mom. You want Kanaya. You want everything to be done. You want this waiting to be done. This pain to be over. If you had the strength, this agony would erupt from you in an angry tidal wave of fire.

But instead, it only comes out in spurts. In tiny, little sobs loud enough to draw someone near. Your friend.

As he approaches, you have to speak. You have to tell him. Or else you won’t be able to die in peace.

“I should have told her,” you utter. “I should have told her I loved her. Even if she already knew it, I just should have said it. I should have told Mom. I should have told Kanaya….”

You falter. It’s becoming too much to say these words. You physically just don’t have the strength. You have the dream, but not the drive.

“I want…” you start to speak again, but your eyes are leaving their post.

They’re drifting off to the side and your face turns with them. You feel yourself going to sleep.

You’re so physically exhausted, you can’t even fight it. It’s beyond you.

You don’t even realize you’re gone when it happens. You don’t feel anything, don’t think anything. It just…happens.

You never would have thought dying would have felt so good.


End file.
